need a reason to live
by kakashi92
Summary: A girl looses her whole family just before returning to hogwarts for seventh year. this is a story about how she copes with this.GWXOC POSSABLE LEMON IN LATER CHAPTERS!
1. Chapter 1

**disclaimer:**i do no own harry potter or any harry potter characters. I do However, own my OC and have the right to warp the story as much as i like hehehe.

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**Need a reason to live again**

**Chapter 1**

**I have nothing against Mother Nature, Jack Frost, Santa or even the Easter bunny, but God is an evil son of a bitch.**

_I have... sorry, HAD a family. Like normal people I had, a mum, a dad, an older brother and my two sisters, we were triplets, and finally there was my newest little brother. Just after the summer started... every one of them died except for me and my little brother Jamie. For most of the summer it was just me and Jamie, until the funeral. Only us and the reverend turned up. I arranged for a muggle funeral because I thought it would be nicer as my father was a muggle. After the service, we read their wills, everything was left to me. The muggle police look Jamie and put him into a foster home because I was only fifteen. For the rest of the summer I was trying to get custody of Jamie. About a week before I was due to return to school, a letter came for me about Jamie. He wouldn't stop crying so his carer shook him... he died. He was less than a month old. There was no funeral. I was all alone with no more reason to live._

_I'm in my seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry. I'm a Gryffindor but not many people know me, I sort of melt into the background most of the time, always have. _

At the platform I stood against the rear wall thinking as I watched a family of red heads exchange a warm goodbye, how I envied them. On the train I sat alone staring out the window, my eyes brimming with tears. If anyone came in, I didn't notice. We reached Hogwarts and got into the great hall, it all passed by in a blur.

I noticed everyone staring at me oddly so I looked down to see what they were looking at. I realised I wasn't wearing my uniform. I must have forgotten in all my musing. I swore under my breath and got up to leave but at the same moment Dumbledore rose from his seat so I reluctantly returned to my seat.

There were two red heads sitting opposite me with a look on their faces I didn't quite recognise. I couldn't look at them for very long because they were identical, down to the last freckle. My sisters were identical as well.

My sisters both had short black hair sticking out in every angle with tanned faces and green eyes. Overall they were pretty in an odd, different kind of way. And me being a Metamorphmagus, I opted to look just like them. After the accident I changed that. Now I have deep red hair that's layered and goes just below my shoulder blades, a very pale complexion and dark blue eyes. I for one thought that I looked a lot like I did before but no one's recognised me yet which I think is a good thing. I guess it's understandable as only the teachers knew of my abilities.

A short woman who was introduced as Professor Umbridge started speaking. I raised an eyebrow at her completely over the top pink ensemble. After hearing her voice for less than thirty seconds I blanked her out, opting instead to pull out my hip flask from my long leather coat and take a few much needed gulps.

Those twins were looking at me again this time as if to say 'what's in there?', I shrugged my shoulders and put it away. The last thing needed was for someone to figure out my secret before the year even begun.

When the ugly frog had finished talking we were all dismissed. As i began my slow trek out of the hall i heard a small "uh hmm" from behind me, i turned around to see what on earth was there. it was the frog princess herself."excuse me miss..."  
"Umbridge, your name is Umbridge, don't tell me you forgot your own name" when i replied she seemed to get rather angry, i felt the urge to punch her in the face but had not drank nearly enough to give into such demand. Behind her i could see several students open mouthed or trying to prevent laughter. "If you'll excuse me professor i have some business to attend to." with that i left the hall and started towards gryffindor tower.  
"Oi! wait up!" I heard somone calling. I turned just in time to have the two red heads from lunch run into me, causing all three of us to fall in a heap on the floor.  
I couldn't breath so i said as loud as i could in my breathless state "FRED, GEORGE! GET THE HELL OFF ME!". To say they looked shocked as they both climbed off me would be an under statement.  
"How the bloody hell do you know who we are?".  
I gave him a quizzical look and replied "What are you going on about George? I've known you both since first year!" And then it dawned on them.

"EVY!" They shouted in unison as they hauled me off the ground and pulled me into a group hug.  
" You look like a whole different person, what happened?" fred questioned.  
" Well freddy, you tend to be able to change your appearance if your a Metamorphmagus" they both looked stunned, but all to soon those mischievous smiles crept onto there faces.

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**Please review so i know that at least 1 person wants to read this. i may continue anyway because I've planned this one out a bit and like where its going.**


	2. notice!

**NOTICE!**

**just to let you know that i made a slight mistake with the first chapter. Evy is 16yrs old in this not 15yrs old. sorry for the mix up.**

**Kakashi92**


	3. Chapter 2

**declaimer: i don't own it.**

**sorry that it took so long to update, I'm in the middle of my GCSE's at the moment so I'm a bit pressed for time, again, really really sorry.**

**R&R**

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**Chapter 2**

After spending the rest of the evening listening to the twins talk about the Quiditch World Cup I went up to bed, i was so tired i fell asleep assoon as my head hit the pillow.

**_three young girls, completely identical, stood on a patch of grass out the front of a detached house. they where standing, talking and laughing. the weather was fine with a clear blue, cloudless sky. Nothing could go wrong.  
_****_A flash of pure white lightning and a clap of roaring thunder later and the sky's where dark and grey, the girls were gone and a man and a woman, whom looked like older versions of the three girls, stood in there stead.  
Another flash and a clap later and the two where dead on the floor. Moments later, the three girls reapeared from the house with a baby in one of there arms. They faced three men with hooded faces. They started talking but no sound was heard.  
Curses where being shot through the air as soon as the talking had stopped. One of the girls sit crouched by the wall of the house holding the baby while in-cased in some sort of shield. The other two however, were not so lucky. They lay dead at the feet of the hooded men.  
Two of the men abuse the girls both sexually and physically to try and coax the last girl and the baby out of the shield. The last man had pulled his hood down and faced the surviving girl, smiling at her.  
What she said next echoed along side his reply.  
" I am going to hunt you down and fucking kill you!"  
" I'd like to see you try sweet heart"  
As he started laughing the baby started crying and there was several cracks indicating the arrival of the Aurors and the departure of the hooded men..._**

I woke up in a cold sweat, bundled in my covers on the floor. This was nothing new, I'd been having these dreams now since it happened.  
I pulled myself off the floor with great effort, i got harder and harder every day. I had a cold shower to wake myself up before putting on the hot to wash. By the time i finished everyone else in the dorm had left. I gathered my things and wandered down to breakfast.

I sat opposite the golden trio as apposed to the twins, like i had every morning for the last seven years. to say i got some strange looks would be an understatement. Usually i would, but today i needed to think through my plans. I made eye contact with no one as i got my water and schedule then left the hall into the courtyard. there i sat on the bench attached to the wall and opened the spell book i bought before school started. I looked up the spell for turning water into whiskey and tried it. It worked. Using aguamenti (water) first, i managed to have about three of these before stumbling to class.

I will probable be the first to admit to myself that i have a drinking problem. It didn't start out too bad or at all if i'm honest. After my families death i was only morning because i had Jamie to take care of, but after they took him away i had nothing. I crashed a couple of parties and got wasted. I started to like the idea of being so incapacitated that i couldn't even remember who i was. I got hooked. So i was perminantly drunk for the rest of the holiday. There Where some problems though. Firstly the more i drunk, the more used to the alcohol my body got so i had to drink more to keep that intoxicated high. Secondly, all the drinking has fucked up my liver so now I'm on medication (two tablets, three times a day), i have to take them with my meals so everyone will see. Lastly, i can't really drink at school without people noticing. After i came across these problems in my head i also came up with the solutions. Solution number one, drink more. Solution number two, take them when people aren't looking. Solution number three, try not to get noticed. I hope they work but if they don't, oh well.

When i reached the door to DADA I got pulled into the seat between the twins.  
"hey Evy where were you-"  
"at breakfast? we didn't-"  
"see you like we normally-"  
"do" George finished off. I used to love it when they did that and they knew it, that's why they did it so much. But they must have notice when i cringed slightly at there little game because they stopped. That's when old toad face herself waltzed into the room. I hated her with a passion, and i showed it with the murderous glare i was throwing her way. I knew the twins where curious because of there questioning glances.

About half way through the lesson, a hufflepuff raised there hand which was addressed with a sickly sweet smile and a curt "yes dear, what is it?". The hufflepuff asked why there was nothing in the text book about using defensive spells. Apparently the ministry thought that we could get by on just the theory. I gave an indignant snort at this and her toad like fetchers turned to face me. There was an evil glint in her eye that i didn't like.

" Ahh, Miss Waters. Hows the family?"

I don't remember what happened after that. Just white hot rage coursing through my veins.

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Kakashi92


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own harry potter (god do I always have to say these things?)**

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**chapter 3**

Last night of detention with professor Trelawney. To put it simply, it's a walk in the park. shes more of a drunk than i am... OK maybe not, but i can hide it MUCH better than her.  
I sat there on the floor next to the fire in her class room where i was serving detention, drinking the professors meed (she had passed out about 10 minuets ago) when i thought back on the event that had given me a months detention ( the silver lining is that i could drink as much as i wanted when she passed out, stumble back to the dorms and blame it on the fumes. since I've done this every night for the past month, no one argued).

_**"Ahh, Miss Waters. Hows the family?"  
I charged at her over the table, forgetting about my wand for a moment. She didn't expect that so she wasn't prepared. I tackled her to the floor and begun to punch every spot on her face that i could reach (as well as calling her every name under the sun). when i was finally forced off her by some very stupid slitherins i withdrew my wand and jinxed them all before levitating the toad and tatooing her forehead to say BITCH in big capital letters. Then Professor Magonagle walked into the room.**_

Sure I was at the top of the gossip chain for a while, and i had to stay sober during the day because people followed me around, and they made me have a weeks counselling, and I had people bugging me about why i did it, but it was still worth it. Plus, my secret is still safe.  
I began stumbling back to the commons at about half eleven, seeing double of everything. after walking into the fat lady then the wall, i managed to get through the portrait hole before falling. Luckily, someone caught me because i don't think i could get back up again on my own. OK I admit, i over did it a bit...OK a lot.  
"Evy? are you ok" I looked up and saw one (maybe two)of the twins.  
"mm fine Fred, just the fooms" I guessed who it was, usually i can tell but lately I've been having trouble recognising myself in the mirror.  
He looked into my eyes before saying "um I'm George, and i thing your drunk...wait" he moved me so that he had a better hold of me before moving us up to his dorm. Lee was in the hospital wing because of one of Fred and Georges jokes so it was just him and Fred.  
He kicked Fred awake with his foot before sitting on his bed with me still in his arms. Fred looked up from his pillow slowly as if it was far to much effort to move his head. But when he saw George with his arms around my waist, a light blush on his cheeks and me leaning into him, pressing his side with all the right things, he let out a quick laugh and a broad grin spread across his face.  
"About time Georgie! You said you liked her but i didn't think you'd do anything with her!" George gave him a _'twin look' _that clearly said **back the fuck off, it's not like that**. I looked from Freds bemused face to georges frustrated/flustered one.  
"George, you like me?" I saw him blush even more and under the influence of alcohol, i kissed him. Both Fred and George where shocked for a moment before he pulled back and said in a stern voice  
"stop evy. Your drunk" From the corner of my eye i could see confussion and shock in freds face.  
"wait. Evy, OUR Evy is drunk? is this the same Evy that said alcohol is bad for the sole and vowed on her own life that she would never drink. EVER? That Evy?" after a curt nod from George Fred gaped at me as i passed out in Georges arms, my head resting on his chest.

"but why would she d-" Fred was cut off by a rather angry George who hissed with an ere calm  
"I don't know"

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I woke up the next morning tangled with George, a shirtless George, a good looking shirtless George I noted. As i looked up from his perfectly sculptured chest to his face i saw that he was awake and watching me. "Like what you see?" I blushed then grabbed my head before hissing in pain. "It's just a hangover you should get used to it eventually" that's when i made a stupid mistake in all of my pain, missary and depression. The only mistake i have made so far where my secret is concerned.  
"Hm i don't need to, afer the last time i had 1 this bad i made a cure." I'm pretty sure my eyes actually bugged out at that point. I leaped from the bed and ran to the door. I didn't make it very far before George pulled me back so that i was flush against his chest. the action made my whole face burn up and my heart pump so fast i was sure he could feel it himself.  
"why don't you summon that cure, and then we'll talk" as he let go it was clear to me that there was no room for negotiations. So i used Accio to summon the potion, then i took it. It only took about three minuits to work before i was awake, alert, sober and hangover free.

He sat me back on his bed next to him (still no shirt may i add .) and asked me what i ment by my previous comment. "I... don't know... where to ...start" i sighed heavily before saying, with my face fully flushed "Please put a shirt on, your um ...very distracting without it" He rolled his eyes but even i could tell from his wide grin that he enjoyed this little snippet of information.  
"Why not start from the beginning?"  
So i did. Right from start not that moment, including my plans to leave school early. I don't know why i trusted him with all of this information. maybe because we where friends, or because he's a twin and i used to be a triplet, or because i liked him...wait scratch that last one, i did NOT like him. Sure he was nice, and comforting, and the hottest guy I've ever seen. OK, going off track a bit here.

After I finished my story he wrapped me in his arms and held me close to his chest while i cried. I hadn't cried yet. I needed to be strong for my siblings, then just for Jamie, now just me. " I just feel like such a failure. First i couldn't help my parents, then i couldn't help Meg or Lou, then poor Jamie." George held me close whispering calm comforting noises into my ear, telling me it was going to be OK and that it wasn't my falt. Just as i started to drift off to sleep i heard him say "well at least now i know what you had in the container first day back and why you beat up Umbridge, classic by the way." I gave a weak chuckle before falling asleep on him, again.

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**kakashi92 **


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I woke up alone in George's bed a few hours after I fell asleep for the second time. I should really stop doing that. I rolled off of his four poster bed with the maroon sheets and entered the bathroom. I washed my face in the sink before turning to the shower to freshen up. I stopped dead in my tracks upon seeing George in just a towel, his face as red as his hair as he looked down at me.

"Umm uh hey Evy, what uh what are you doing in-in here?" he was so flustered that he was stuttering. I have never seen George like this before it's ...cute. Wait. Cute? NO not cute I didn't think that no not me. Hmm. NO, still not cute. Ok I'm in denial here.

I looked away from his oh so red face down to his once again exposed chest. Damn the power of well defined muscles! I let out a content sigh as I gazed at the view before I heard a muffled laughter from the doorway.

"You know Evy, If you want to stare something worth looking at I'm always here for you" Fred jested with a cheesy grin. His twin sent him such a dirty look I thought he was going to hit him for a second.

"I'm ok thanks Fred, George is just perfect" another blush covered his face. I'm starting to enjoy this too much I think. I think I'm going to go to lunch now, god bless Saturdays. As I start to leave the room both of the twins grab my arms, I look at them as if to say 'what?'

"Where are you going?" oh please they think I'm going to go binge drinking...ok maybe I was but still they have no trust in me. "Oh ye of little faith, I was going to change then have some lunch." They let me go and I left for my dormitory, it was empty thankfully.

I pulled a bottle of Ogden's fire whisky out from my trunk as well as some clean clothes. I know that George wants me to stop but I just can't. I change in front of the mirror and notice just how thin I've gotten. "Damn I'm like a fucking twig" I put on the close fitting top and genes, gulp down some of the fire whiskey and go down to the common room, grabbing a baggy jumper on my way out. Don't want the twins to notice the weight loss.

Both Fred and George are waiting at the portrait hole when I get down. I let out a sigh of frustration as we exit the common room. They both keep glancing at me as we slowly make are way down to the great hall. "I'm not going to just collapse right here on the floor you know" Fred shows a shaky grin where as George shows nothing but worry. I discretely squeezed his hand to assure him that I was fine. When we entered the hall we sat opposite the golden trio with me in the middle and a twin either side as sort of body guards or at least that's what it looked like. We all exchanged our greetings and as usual the twins teased there little brother Ron.

While they were all distracted I pulled out my meds and popped two pills into my mouth before washing it down with some of Georges pumpkin juice. Unfortunately as luck (or lack thereof) would have it, harry saw this movement.

"Hey Evy, what's that?" this simple question attracted the attention of the rest of the group meaning I couldn't just brush of his question like it was nothing. So I replied,  
"oh, just my medication"  
"what's it for?" so he wants a conversation does he?  
"My liver"  
"what's wrong with your liver?" god does he ever stop with the questions?  
"Its dysfunctional" ok now George is looking at me weird.  
"How so?"  
"It stopped working"  
"Why?"  
"Liver disease" a look of dawning comprehension crossed George's face I knew he'd get there in the end. George cut into the conversation by taking my hand and saying to the others "good seeing you guys we'll talk later but right now i've got a date with Evy in Hogsmead" with a smile that was so warm it was as intoxicating as the finest rum this side of Europe he pulled me out of the hall and towards Hogsmead.

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**Sorry it took me so long to update but I've had a lot of exams on lately. Don't forget to review!  
Kakashi92 **


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